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Megyn Kelly, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Ann Coulter Swimsuit Calendar!

Written by Owen Tickle
Bathing

Above, three of the handmade designs featured in ‘Foxes of Fox.’ (AP Photo/Keven Cannon)

What began as a Weight Loss Challenge between three GOP pundits evolved into a full-fledged bikini calendar, Chairman and CEO of Fox News, Roger Ailes said Sunday. As early as November 1st, Amazon.com, Barnes and Nobles and retailers around the U.S. will fill their shelves with the ‘Foxes of Fox,’ the first annual and first ever all Conservative swimsuit calendar.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck commented that she bet she looked better than me naked,” said Megyn Kelly, host of Fox’s, The Kelly File. “That’s how this all got started. I responded ‘b*tch please ― I’ll take that challenge and it kind of snowballed from there. Next thing I know Ann Coulter was on the phone wanting in. No clue how she got my number or found out so fast but she did. So I told her and Eli we’ll do a thirty day detox and at the end we’ll take a photo-shoot to see who looks best. I have to admit we all looked pretty good on game day and the shoot became the calendar. Debbie Schlussel sewed and stitched our wardrobe and you know what, she did a good job to tell you the truth. She killed it, as the saying goes. Totally killed it.”



The calendar is expected to do so well, that Fox News has created a publishing imprint called Red Tie Media, solely to keep up with predicted demand. At the time of Megyn Kelly’s interview, Fox claimed that the calendars had all been spoken for. “We’re completely sold out.” Ailes said via an email to News Examiner. “And what we’re printing now is our backorder. We haven’t even released the first run yet and we’re on backorder! This thing’s a goldmine. Muah ha ha haaa!”

The first and only person to receive an early preview of the calendar was President Barack Obama, which insiders say is an olive branch, extended by Ailes.

“It’s the first filibuster I’ve got and liked,” the President said Saturday, upon the calendar’s delivery. “I’d definitely vote for that. Let’s see if they can’t get ol’ Harris Faulkner in there next time, though. To uh… color things up, if you would.”



At the time of this article’s publishing, News Examiner CFO Reggie Ratbush received word that Michelle Obama had shredded her husband’s calendar, and had mailed the pieces off to Charmin Tissues, where the grate would be broken down into toilet paper. There is no info yet if Ailes plans to send the President a replacement.



About the author

Owen Tickle

Owen Tickle is a former G.Q., Men's Fitness columnist and the winner of two Peabody awards. He earned his Masters Degree in Journalism from USC and describes his style as a ‘clean approach to commentary.’ “Chaos Well Presented.”

From Washington to Watts, he's there to ask the tough questions which make News Examiner the #1 news source in America, and is known as The Blue Collar Brawler for the way he speaks up for the working class.

Where there’s a story, there’s Owen. And as always, he’ll have the truth at heart.

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