Advice Fitness Health Lifestyle

LOST WEIGHT! This Is A Pretty Tight Shirt, But I Had No Problem Fitting In It!

Paul Horner at Wells Fargo
Written by Fred Durks
Party at the Wells Fargo Museum!!!

I brought my glow sticks and took 14 pills of Molly. They sell those items behind the counter there along with plenty of other things such as fake gold and Morgan Silver Stanley dollars and then I got my workout on!

 
I’ll be honest, it was laundry day. I haven’t worn Billabong for years. But I was rocking it, and that is a pretty tight shirt, but I had no problem fitting in it. Pretty simple to do, just eat very little carbs and only eat when you’re hungry, even if you eat like 2 times or 10 times a day. If you’re not hungry, don’t eat. Seriously, if YOU are NOT hungry, DON’T eat. And if you do not drink beer, which I do, your body will crave sweets/candy, which is cool, you just need to not be a fucking glutton, and brush your teeth you freak. And walk – bike- run a little everyday, move around, get the body and blood moving even if it’s for 30 seconds. Just doing this throughout the day, makes you feel good. And do not eat glutton, makes you feel horrible. Everything else is cool, vegetables and things like pita bread and hummus being the best, but if you’re not into that, seriously just watch the dough you are eating and how much you consume. People would say this in the past and I would be like, “Get out my face you hippie b*tch”, unless they were hot, I would tolerate it and then shave them when they fell asleep. And this is huge, stretch for at least a minute in the morning when you wake up, it feels great. Just lay on your back, clear your head and extend your body. Leg lifts a plus. Situps a plus – actually crunches, that is what you want to do. If you want to get all muscular and bulky, hit the gym. I used to do that, now I just wanna be healthy and toned. The only reason I would ever go again is to play racquetball or something the gym offers, or perv out on naked old fat men until I make them feel uncomfortable and they leave the locker-room without getting fully dressed. Every spot on my body is toned. Even in my pants because I take Viagra all day long because I need to keep my body an even flow. I also do pushups and lift a 25-30lb weight once or twice a week, and work out my legs with those weights too, which is kind of hard to explain how I do that. I used to do a million diamond pushups a day, but watch that. You’re body needs time to heal. Now I cannot ever do em’, and I miss that because they are so effective. If I do them, the rest of the day and sometimes even the next day, it will feel like I’m having a heart attack because I tore a muscle in the left side of the body that they help tone.
 
TL;DR Took 14 pills of Molly at the Wells Fargo Museum in downtown Phoenix

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Fred Durks

The man, the myth, the legend.

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