HUSTON TX (NENN)
In a shocking revelation, N.A.S.A publicly announced that their entire catalog of data, from 2003 to the present day, was almost entirely fabricated, and the once important branch of the military, devoted to space exploration, aerodynamic development, and advancing scientific understanding of the cosmos, has essentially been doing nothing for 11 years.
While N.A.S.A has been busy, it has not been traveling into orbit to conduct important research. Instead, N.A.S.A has been contracting science-fiction film makers, and special effects studios, to produce “convincing” evidence of their progress.
The N.A.S.A officials responsible for this admission remain anonymous, and communicate with the press via their spokesman, Paul Horner who stated at yesterday’s press conference: ” Space is like big, and pretty boring. There’s not much going on at all. And what is, is far away, and long, long ago. But not like Star Wars. There are no Wookies in the vacuum of space. Just ten brave departed souls… um I mean nothing! Nothing has been happening in space! This conference is over.”
The White House remains silent on the issue, and has refused to return our calls.