Tech

100 People Implanted With Video Contact Lenses – Test Trial Is A Success Says My Life Optics

My Life Optics
Written by Jimmy Rustling

A test trial done by My Life Optics, a technology company based out of California, said it is pleased to release the reports of its beta software that was used in trials on a focus group of one hundred individuals.

Lloyd Glacier, a spokesman for My Life Optics, spoke to a full crowd at their offices in Palo Alto and took questions from reporters.

“We are excited to announce that our first test group of a hundred people have successfully been equipped with video recording implants to simulate our eventual contact lenses, and to ensure the safety and well being of future consumers. This is the first step of our life changing new product that will clearly enhance the lives of all humans and the way they see the world,” Glacier said. “My Life Optics has the solution for seamless sight capture and memory retrieval of your life experience. Our technology creates an experience unlike any that has ever been possible in the history of mankind. Users wearing the contact lens can record directly from their eye line and then our software will organize the footage by faces, locations, dates, and other customizable search functionalities. Any moment in your life can feasibly revisited and viewed from your own first person perspective. No matter how your memory changes with age, no precious moments will ever be lost again.” Glacier continued, “In summation, My Life Optics is happy to report that this test trial was a complete success with no permanent injuries or setbacks. We hope to continue working with local and federal government agencies and succeed in reaching our goal of complete citizen safety through line of sight surveillance for the majority of U.S. citizens by 2025.”

38-year-old Tom Downey, just one of the one hundred test subjects, said he enjoyed his new contact lens but said it does have its downsides.

“I couldn’t believe I was selected to get this thing. I was on house arrest for domestic abuse back in April, me and my old lady had a little incident on Christmas, anyway, the judge said if I just get this gizmo put in my eyeball, they’ll drop all the charges, no questions asked. They said it will cost money in the future, but not for me they said, so of course I did it, I’m not stupid. I can check out my fishing shows anytime I want, even see the girls on the beach from really far away. I also like that the video is being recorded and saved by the company, so I can always go and get the video should anything in my eyeball ever break. Technology, oh man, it just blows my mind; though there is some weird pressures going on up there and a buzzing noise, made it kind of tough to sleep with it in, but overall I give it two thumbs way up.”

Many people, such as Human Rights Watch Founder & President Paul Horner, have expressed concerns over the lack of privacy surrounding the technology.

“People are paying to allow these companies to invade their personal lives, collect data, record information; all of this with no clear regulations, laws or transparency,” Horner said. “People need to question the power companies and government agencies like the NSA have.”

The smart contact lens’ software has not yet been made available for sale by the company, but Sony, Samsung and Google all have patents on contact lenses with video recording capabilities.

On the company’s website, the mission statement for My Life Optics reads:
My Life Optics video contact lens implants
My Life Optics says their contact lens with microscopic video cameras and associated visual software are scheduled to arrive in stores as early as Spring of 2018. For those with any questions or concerns My Life Optics can be contacted at their offices in Palo Alto or by calling their 1-800 number.

About the author

Jimmy Rustling

Born at an early age, Jimmy Rustling has found solace and comfort knowing that his humble actions have made this multiverse a better place for every man, woman and child ever known to exist. Dr. Jimmy Rustling has won many awards for excellence in writing including fourteen Peabody awards and a handful of Pulitzer Prizes. When Jimmies are not being Rustled the kind Dr. enjoys being an amazing husband to his beautiful, soulmate; Anastasia, a Russian mail order bride of almost 2 months. Dr. Rustling also spends 12-15 hours each day teaching their adopted 8-year-old Syrian refugee daughter how to read and write.

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