Fappy The Dolphin Standup Comedy

Bill Murray Performs Heimlich Maneuver, Saves Life Of Choking Man At Phoenix Restaurant

Written by Jimmy Rustling
Bill Murray saved a man’s life while dining with friends at The Turf Pub in Phoenix, Arizona today. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

Bill Murray saved a man’s life while dining with friends at The Turf Pub in Phoenix, Arizona today. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

Phoenix, AZ — In a scene straight from the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray saved the life of a man who was choking while dining at a local restaurant in Phoenix, Arizona today.

Murray was having lunch with friends when a man three tables from him began to choke on his food. “I saw the guy choking, so I went over and helped him out,” Murray said. “I actually learned the Heimlich maneuver while working on the movie Groundhog Day. I’m glad I was able to get some good use of the skill outside of the movies.”

36-year-old intern, Dan Stevens, from ABC15 in Phoenix, Arizona reported what happened at the restaurant as the best he could.

“I guess I just took too much of a bite of streak because suddenly I couldn’t breath. Anyway, I was choking, starting to turn blue, and the next thing I know, none other than Bill Murray is giving me the Heimlich maneuver and within seconds he saved my life,” Systems says. “It was an amazing experience and he is such a good person. I volunteered to pay for his lunch and the party he was with, but he wouldn’t let me. He did say I could buy him a drink though, so that’s what I did, a vodka tonic. For the rest of my life I will never forget that I bought Bill Murray a vodka tonic, after this this “living legend” saved my life. and then to top off EVERYTHING, he immediately quoted the same line from Groundhog Day seconds after SAVING MY LIFE.

“Next time you wanna try not chewing the whole cow in one bite. You be safer now. And then Murray, took one of my french fries, and without asking for permission or saying anything, he says, ‘No one will ever believe you‘.”

And then casually, Murray walks away, out the door, not looking back once it me. It blew my mind.”

I still paid for his meal and the party of five who was with him, and I even got in an extra order of fries, just for Murray, because I know the year long gag on the internet, and after everything that has happened, I wanted to be a part of it,” Stevens said the who thing is “Beyond surreal and he is still trying to comprehend everything that took place.”

Stevens told reporters it was absolutely amazing, “After Murray casually saved my life, and then said that line from Groundhog Day, I didn’t have a chance to smile or laugh; nothing. I was still in complete shock, because I had almost died like 30 seconds before this and it was Bill Murray who had saved my life. it was too much, especially since Groundhog Day is one of my favorite movie, actually ANY MOVIE with Bill Murray is my favorite movie.

Stevens who is a journalist for CNN among six other news media outlets quoted The Turf Pub, where the incident occurred and told reporters about the day’s excitement.

– Bill Murray Is Doing A Free Comedy Show Tonight In Downtown Phoenix! –

“This man started choking, so without hesitation, quests told local reporters, that Murray got up from his table while no one else was moving a find to save this man’s life, sprinted over to where this gentleman is at and immediately starts begins giving him the Heimlich. While everyone else in the restaurant was wondering what to do, Murray stepped up and saved the day,” Stevens said. “It was surreal and absolutely amazing. It was great to meet Mr. Murray, what a cool guy. And also since The Turf Pub is a comedy spot, Bill told management he will be coming back this Monday to visit, so I will definitely be there, if I can get a seat, reporting on that.”

Before leaving the restaurant, Murray told the manager of his plans next week.

“The people at The Turf Pub were so nice to me and my guests,” Murray said, “They joked around about me going up on stage; tell a few stories and a maybe a few jokes for the crowd. I haven’t done standup in years, so to their amazement, I agreed. I’m kind of excited and nervous at the same time. I’ll probably just take a bunch of my crazy anxiety meds and dress up in mycostume. It’s going to be a free show too, so all you poor bastards out there, stop by if you’re in the area, and at least have enough to buy a beer or something. That’s just pathetic if you can’t afford a dollar for a PBR, I truly feel for you. And I don’t mind buying someone a beer if they have a big enough sob story, but seriously, get your sh*t together. Start selling pot or something, jeez.”

Murray is supposedly scheduled to perform with Arizona and well traveled comedian, Arizona local great Kirsten Alberts, along with Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin the official mascot for the Christian Anti-Masturbation Organization, STOP Masturbation NOW.

It is not clear if Murray’s attendance at The Turf Pubsometime between 8pm – 12AM is 100% guaranteed, but various local Arizona news stations including Channnel 3 and ABC 15 have confirmed this attendance. The Turf Pub is located at 705 N 1st Street Phoenix, AZ 85004 at (602) 296-5043.

Management has encouraged individuals and media interest in this event and The Turf Pub to not flood the phone lines, so they have setup a direct number to answer any questions at (785) 273-0325.

HERO: Bill Murray Saves Life Of Choking Man At Phoenix Restaurant


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About the author

Jimmy Rustling

Born at an early age, Jimmy Rustling has found solace and comfort knowing that his humble actions have made this multiverse a better place for every man, woman and child ever known to exist. Dr. Jimmy Rustling has won many awards for excellence in writing including fourteen Peabody awards and a handful of Pulitzer Prizes. When Jimmies are not being Rustled the kind Dr. enjoys being an amazing husband to his beautiful, soulmate; Anastasia, a Russian mail order bride of almost 2 months. Dr. Rustling also spends 12-15 hours each day teaching their adopted 8-year-old Syrian refugee daughter how to read and write.