Dying Mans Last Words: I Masturbated To Pictures Of Caitlyn Jenner

Phoenix, Arizona — Paul Stephen Horner, a 102-year-old Arizona man had some unusual last words for family members just before passing away while on his deathbed late Saturday night.

“He whispered for all of us to come closer, so we did,” Horner’s oldest son Milton told local news station ABC 15. “He then got this crazy looking grin on his face and with his last ounce of energy chuckled, ‘I masturbated to pictures of Caitlyn Jenner’, and then that crazy bastard passed away.”

Horner, who was in hospice care at his Phoenix home, had his seven sons, three daughters, twenty-seven grandchildren, and 13 great-grandchildren by his side when he made the startling announcement.

Horner, who died of natural causes, was married for 72 years, served in both World War I and World War II earning the Purple Heart and Medal of Bravery.

Horner’s funeral will be held this Thursday at the Phoenix First Assembly of God. A private gathering of family and close friends is scheduled at his residence in North East Phoenix later that evening.

The family says they already have plans for Horner’s tombstone which they say will read, “Here lies Paul Horner. The first straight male to masturbate to pictures of Caitlyn Jenner.”

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