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Casual Dating in the Digital Age: Rules of Engagement in Recent Years

Written by Jimmy Rustling

Today’s dating landscape is different than just a decade ago. Dating can feel more fast-paced, direct, and informal. More singles are interested in casual dating than in something long-term and serious.

What’s casual dating like in the digital age? We’ll explain casual dating and how to keep your matches engaged when chatting online.

What is Casual Dating?

Before knowing if casual dating is right for you, what is it? Casual dating is a type of relationship that’s less about long-term commitment and more about enjoying the moment. It’s a way for singles to enjoy local hook ups and intimacy without committing to anything serious.

People who casually date may:

  • Explore physical intimacy without expectations of exclusivity
  • Spend time together regularly or sporadically
  • Engage in relationship fun, without an expectation of future commitment

Casual dating is all about exploring who and what’s out there. That’s what makes it popular. People are stimulated by digital media every day, and that creates a greater need for something more low-pressure and fun.

Casual Dating Today Vs. Back Then

People were casually dating even before technology, dating apps, and social media. But, there’s a real difference between the way people casually dated back then and today.

Casual dating back then:

  • Relied on in-person meetings or setups through friends
  • Limited to mostly phone calls or occasional meetups
  • Pressured by social norms that valued traditional relationships

Casual dating today:

  • Dating apps make connections easier and faster
  • DMs, voice notes, and video calls are the main forms of communication
  • More fluidity to engage in casual dating without societal backlash

Modern casual dating leans into the fast-paced focus of casual dating. Users can match, meet, and engage in local hook ups in just a few minutes. In a way, the digital age made casual dating turn into super casual dating.

Rules of Engagement For Dating in the Digital Age

Even if casual dating is more casual, that doesn’t mean there are no rules. There are written and unwritten rules of casual dating to keep in mind.

1. First Impressions Are Key

Everything you do will set the tone for the rest of your interaction with someone. That first impression includes your bio, photos, and the first message you decide to send. If you deliver the right first impression, you’ll set yourself up to find the right person for you.

2. Be Clear About Intentions

Looking for a local hook up? Or, just casual fun over the phone? Casual dating means less time building up to it, and more time living the life. Casual daters should say what they want upfront. This leaves the guesswork behind and helps to avoid mismatched expectations.

3. Keep It Consensual

Casual dating is fast-paced, but that doesn’t mean breaking boundaries. Sending an unsolicited photo is the fastest way to get blocked, and it never works. Remember, even in casual dating, that’s a real person you’re talking to. Consent is a very real topic that needs to be discussed.

4. Ask About Boundaries

Not everyone defines “casual” the same way. Check in with the other person about exclusivity, communication style, and what they define as a casual relationship. It might seem lame to talk about boundaries, but a 5-minute chat can save you from drama and trouble down the line.

5. Be a Strong Communicator

Poor communication is one of the worst offenders when it comes to online dating. One study revealed that “ghosting” has impacted more than 76% of Americans who are dating, and leaves them with a rather bad taste.

It’s something simple, but being a strong communicator can help you stand out. This means responding to messages on time. If you’re out for a long time, you should also let them know that you’ll be gone. Even if you’re not feeling it anymore, say so with honesty. It gives the other person closure and saves everyone time and hurt feelings.

6. Know Your Casual Dating Slang

Casual dating includes its own set of dating slang. Here are some common casual dating terms so you don’t miss the point:

  • Situationship: another way to describe casual dating, it’s the stage where you’re more than friends but less than a relationship.
  • DTF: this stands for “down to fuck” and is used to signal to others that you’re looking for something purely physical.
  • Ghosting: when someone suddenly cuts off communication with a match that they’re speaking to, often without explanation.
  • Breadcrumbing: the act of leading someone on with mixed signals.
  • Cuffing season: a time when singles engage in temporary winter relationships.

Test the Casual Dating Waters

Casual dating can be full of opportunity. Now that you’ve learned the rules of casual dating, are you ready to jump into the water? Try it for yourself, and see where your adventure takes you.

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About the author

Jimmy Rustling

Born at an early age, Jimmy Rustling has found solace and comfort knowing that his humble actions have made this multiverse a better place for every man, woman and child ever known to exist. Dr. Jimmy Rustling has won many awards for excellence in writing including fourteen Peabody awards and a handful of Pulitzer Prizes. When Jimmies are not being Rustled the kind Dr. enjoys being an amazing husband to his beautiful, soulmate; Anastasia, a Russian mail order bride of almost 2 months. Dr. Rustling also spends 12-15 hours each day teaching their adopted 8-year-old Syrian refugee daughter how to read and write.