Fappy The Dolphin

Fappy The Dolphin On The Job To Protect And Serve!

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin has never been a narc. Whenever Fappy is talking to a teacher or student, there will usually be a pause in the conversation where Fappy can casually say, “F*ck the Police”. Now, what Fappy is not a fan of, is anyone being a retard in public. If Fappy witnesses a public safety concern by an individual, Fappy will not hesitate to inform the 5-0. The reason I say this, is Fappy was just at a Circle K convenience store by his house. Inside there was an adult non-normal-white-person running around the store, talking gibberish, running into things, with children present. Fappy watched this man for over five minutes to ensure no masturbating was occurring. After no self-rape was present, Fappy and his friend left the establishment, saw a police car which they then flagged down.

google_ad_client = “ca-pub-9120926301593666”;
google_ad_slot = “2639961487”;
google_ad_width = 336;
google_ad_height = 280;

Fappy politely informed the police man what was happening inside of the store.

“Hello officer, my name is Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin. Inside that Circle K over there, a non-white is on some kind of narcotic. After years and years and years of narcotics use myself, I can tell this man is on some kind of mixture of PCP, a Speedball of cocaine and heroin, 1/8th of Ketamine, possibly a half gram of marijuana and two forties of Mickey’s. Also Menthol cigarettes are 100% guaranteed to be present.”

The officer thanked me and went in to confront the black demon. After that, Fappy jumped in the police squad car that was left running and am now headed to Mexico to spread awareness to children about the dangers and consequences of masturbation. Praise Fappy!

Fappy Protect and Serve

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 1 / 5. Vote count: 1

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

About the author

Jimmy Rustling

Born at an early age, Jimmy Rustling has found solace and comfort knowing that his humble actions have made this multiverse a better place for every man, woman and child ever known to exist. Dr. Jimmy Rustling has won many awards for excellence in writing including fourteen Peabody awards and a handful of Pulitzer Prizes. When Jimmies are not being Rustled the kind Dr. enjoys being an amazing husband to his beautiful, soulmate; Anastasia, a Russian mail order bride of almost 2 months. Dr. Rustling also spends 12-15 hours each day teaching their adopted 8-year-old Syrian refugee daughter how to read and write.