It is a very important thing to set life goals and have expectations. At least it puts you on track and enables you to measure your progress with time. However, life and its intricacies can serve you something different from what you expected. It is therefore critical to be measured in your expectations and know how to manage those of family and friends.
Though achieving your life expectations is incredibly great, it shouldn’t be by every means possible. Many people are battling depression and other health issues because they couldn’t manage their expectations and that of others. They were so keen to achieve them that they didn’t consider their mental health. Don’t be a victim of your own goals; here are some ways to manage expectations devoid of personal and external pressure.
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Managing people and your expectations
Set realistic expectations
You have the best intentions for yourself. You want to become very successful and even have enough to help others. But your expectations shouldn’t be cast in stone. It should be realistic and must measurable. Most times, people set targets based on wrong perceptions or information. However, your expectation must match your capabilities. Anything contrary will set you up for failure.
Be patience
You have set timelines for yourself as to when to achieve what. You expect to complete college by age 23, gain employment or start a business at least two years later. Later, you would wish to pursue other courses to improve your employability. By age 30, you expect to buy a home and start making a family.
However, you are almost 40 years now and don’t even have a decent job, much more owning a home. This means your plan of accessing a reverse mortgage with your home during retirement may be unachievable because you may not afford one. You sometimes also get heartbroken and disappointed in yourself whenever you meet colleagues or age mates.
But wait; be patient with yourself. Everyone has his/her path in life, and even twins have different destinies. Maybe the goals you set for yourself were unrealistic and forcing yourself to achieve them would just mess your life up. Take one step at a time.
Adjust your expectations
You expected to be gainfully employed or start a business at age 25. However, the outbreak of Covid-19 and its related economic challenges means you may not achieve this target. So, adjust the expectations to suit the current life and economic challenges. Readjusting your expectations gives you peace of mind and eases away unwanted pressure as you are being realistic.
People’s goals are not yours
Just as you’ve set targets and expectations, other people also have theirs. So, be mindful of trying to be like others. These people have spent years building whatever they are now, and you can’t just become them. Trying that creates unnecessary pressure and unhealthy competition, during which you may lose focus of your own set goals.
Don’t submit to pressure
Many are living a miserable life and in the wrong profession because they followed voices around. You know yourself, and your capabilities, so don’t let external pressure turn you into something you aren’t. Your family and friends expect so high of you. With a family full of lawyers and doctors, they might also want you to become one. But you rather want to go into business or become a techie. Follow your dreams and set your own goals instead of trying to please those around you.
Don’t be harsh on yourself
Your friends and age mates are making it big, and so what? Some are taking the trip of a lifetime, living luxurious lifestyles, and married with a family, but you cannot say the same about yourself. Yes, that can be depressing. However, maybe they had goals and expectations different from yours, so your results can’t be the same. What if they come from a wealthy family and receive support from them?
Judging yourself harshly makes you lose focus and become unappreciative of whatever you have achieved. Instead of judging yourself, invest the energy into building yourself up. Upgrade yourself is possible and explore opportunities than come at hand.
Be communicative
If you come from a family that dictates the path of descendants, then you need to communicate more. Changing their expectations from you may be very difficult but possible. Make them understand why you want to cart a different career path and the opportunities there. Also, communicate your expectations from them in making your aspirations successful.
Take home
In setting life expectations, you should be realistic, and have patience since it going to be a process and not an event. You should allow others’ expectations of you to overburden you and communicate your set expectations to whoever may be concerned. Don’t submit to such external pressures because your mental health is very important. Lastly, you are different from others, so don’t make other people’s expectations yours.
