Politics Republican Tech

Sex Offenders Now Required To Have Transparent Rainbows On Their Profile Image

Written by Jimmy Rustling

Seen here is the new transparent rainbow marking system Facebook has implemented to help make it easy to identify a sex offender. (AP Photo/Dennis System)

Menlo Park, CA — At a press conference this morning, Facebookannounced new steps in its efforts to protect minors from pedophiles and other sexual deviants on the popular social media website.

“As some of you may have already noticed, registered sex offenders on Facebook now have the colors of a transparent rainbow covering their entire profile image,” Facebook spokesman Paul Horner told reporters. “This will make sexual predators easily identifiable to the community and help keep your children safe.”

Since Facebook introduced the new rainbow system for sex offenders on Friday, other social networking sites have followed suit.

“We think adding rainbow colors on the profile image of a sex offender is a great idea, and because of that, we too have implemented the new marking system,” Twitter spokesman David Hatala told MSNBC. “Children understand colors. They know red means stop and green means go, and now they know rainbow means perverted sex fiend.”

Though not everyone is happy with the new sex offender rainbow marking system. NAMBLA spokesman, 62-year-old Tom Downey, told CNN he believes the colors will only make having sex with young boys that much more difficult.


“It’s already tough enough finding a young boy on the internet to have sex with and now Facebook makes my picture look like some kind of creepy guy on an acid trip,” Downey said. “Where’s my basic human rights to have sex with as many young, beautiful, underage boys as I want to? I thought this was America!”

Republican presidential hopeful, Rick Santorum, told Fox News that the new rainbow marking system has nothing to do with discrimination.

“There is no racism in this country,” Santorum said. “Every patriotic, straight, white, God-fearing Christian, has all the exact same rights‬ as every other patriotic, straight, white, God-fearing Christian.”

On Fox & Friends, host Anna Kooiman said she blames the new rainbow marking system on the Obama administration.

“All the gay people getting married in Benghazi will have Obamacare and burn the Confederate flag, even though it has nothing to do with racism, while shooting up a church that also had nothing to do with racism. And do you know who gets stuck with the bill? The American people, that’s who! And why do they get stuck with the bill? Because cops love black people!”

Shares of Facebook closed Friday at 88.01, up 0.03 (0.03%). If you feel your profile image has been mistakenly confused with that of a sex offender, Facebook has setup a 24-hour rainbow hotline at (785) 273-0325.

VIDEO: Sex Offenders Now Required To Have Transparent Rainbows On Their Profile Image

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

About the author

Jimmy Rustling

Born at an early age, Jimmy Rustling has found solace and comfort knowing that his humble actions have made this multiverse a better place for every man, woman and child ever known to exist. Dr. Jimmy Rustling has won many awards for excellence in writing including fourteen Peabody awards and a handful of Pulitzer Prizes. When Jimmies are not being Rustled the kind Dr. enjoys being an amazing husband to his beautiful, soulmate; Anastasia, a Russian mail order bride of almost 2 months. Dr. Rustling also spends 12-15 hours each day teaching their adopted 8-year-old Syrian refugee daughter how to read and write.