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UPDATE: The Assam Rape Festival In India Begins This Week

India Rape Festival
Written by Jimmy Rustling
India Rape Festival

Pictured here is the starting of last year’s Assam Rape Festival, which locals say was a big success. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

Assam, INDIA — Men in India are already beginning to celebrate as the annual Assam Rape Festival is just days away. Every non-married girl age 6-16 will have the chance to flee to safety or get raped.

Madhuban Ahluwalia who heads up the annual festival told reporters why the event is so important. “This is a long time tradition in Assam dating back thousands of years,” says Ahluwalia. “We rape the evil demons out of the girls, otherwise they will cheat on us and we will be forced to kill them. So it is necessary for everyone.”

The Assam Festival began in 43 BC when Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu raped everyone in his village of Doomdooma. Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu is remembered every year at this event, in fact the trophy given to the man with the most rapes is called “The Baalkrishan”.

24-year-old Harikrishna Majumdar told reporters that he has been training all year for this event. “I’m going to get the most rapes this year. I’ve been practicing all year. I rape my sister and her friends every day. I will be rape superstar number one! I will get the Baalkrishan prize this year for sure!”

12-year-old Jaitashri Majumdar told reporters she almost made it through last year’s festival without getting raped. “I came so close to not getting raped. I almost got to the ‘rape-free-zone’ at the edge of town, but at the last minute 9 men jumped on me and raped me. Luckily I am just recovering now so I can participate in this year’s events, otherwise I would be put to death by stoning.”

36-year-old Paul Horner from Phoenix, Arizona who is visiting Assam on business told reporters he will be missing the festivities this year.

“My company did not tell me anything about a rape festival happening while I was here. Are you serious, a rape festival? I’m getting the f*ck out of this backwards country tonight.”

India is second in reported rapes in the world only behind the United States, though critics are quick to point out that is only because most rapes in India go unreported. For more information about the festival or if you would like to participate in next year’s event, please call the 24-hour India Rape Festival hotline at (785) 273-0325.

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WANT TO HELP THE WOMEN IN INDIA? THEN DO SOMETHING!

Giveindia.org gives 90%-95% of the money that you donate directly to the cause of helping women in India. This money provides them with proper education, shelter, food, help in getting out of abusive relationships, rape counseling and much more! NOTE: GiveIndia.org is in no way associated with or responsible for this article or the views expressed in it.

Click here to donate

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LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS ARTICLE HERE:

UPDATE 11/8/13:
View India’a Response Here

UPDATE 11/8/13:
An American Website Wrote A Satirical Article About An Indian Rape Festival And Many People Thought It Was Real

UPDATE 11/9/13:
SATIRE: India Ends Diplomatic Relations With The U.S. Over Satirical Article

UPDATE 11/13/13:
REAL: Top India police official says, “If you can’t prevent rape, you enjoy it.”

UPDATE 11/21/13:
Police Probe Shows Fake ‘Assam Rape Festival’ Came From Uganda

SATIRE: WOMEN! Rape: It’s YOUR fault!

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AFTER THIS STORY WENT MEGA-VRIAL, WORLDWIDE AND ESPECIALLY INDIA, THINGS GOT INSANE!!!

GOOGLE “INDIA RAPE FESTIVAL” FOR A GOOD TIME!!! The article received WELL OVER 10,000,000 views. Though, that number is very small compared to what it actually probably could have been. National Report’s servers were down most the time because of too much traffic, so it was impossible to keep accurate records. But there were thousands of websites covering the news, especially from America and India, so it was well known regardless and each side posted its own opinion of the article.

In the end, even though India currently has an arrest warrant out for the author of the story, Paul Horner, and the owner of the website, Allen Montgomery, in the media, India blamed EVERYTHING on the country of Uganda, which I thought was super random. But it’s not, read about the feud between India and Uganda! It’s like an America stealing and bringing slaves from Africa type of story. Very interesting.

Months later after the article was seen by almost everyone on the planet (exaggeration, but pretty true), India started publicly hanging rapists in the middle of a town square or other public place for all to see. They issued public statements saying they were going to be much harsher on rapists. They replaced most of their current police staff in charge of rape with new officers who didn’t abide by religious laws or other “shunning” or “honor killing” tactics that were previously used. There were many people from India who contacted National Report thanking them for it’s “world wide embarrassment of India” over the subject of “India’s problem with rape”. They said India takes their reputation very seriously and when this article was seen by “almost every person in India”, they got extremely angry. They wanted to behead everyone at National Report (National Report received LOTS of death threats) and they wanted to do something about their SERIOUS problem of rape so other countries wouldn’t view them like this… so they did something, and it was actually very extreme. And if you follow the news, since this article, there has not been much news about India and the subject of rape. It’s not news anymore because all the statistics are down and there is no major news except them being much tougher on rapists. Was it because of this article? Who knows, but things seriously changed with rape laws and charges and arrests after this article went mega-viral. Plus, because of all the visitors, the India donation site for helping the women there, GiveIndia.org, received over 35,000 clicks. And this amount of “clicks” was back when the story was making the rounds on the internet… I have no clue how many visitors it has received now or how much money it received in total donations. GiveIndia.org did contact National Report asking them to remove the link… obviously inspired by threats or men in charge… but National Report (Paul Horner) told them, “Sorry, but that’s not going to happen. We will not remove it. BUT, we will add a disclaimer to the link on our site so people know that you have NOTHING to do with the link being posted on the site, just so the men in India don’t beat you.” They requested, “NOTE: GiveIndia.org is in no way associated with or responsible for this article or the views expressed in it.” And National Report immediately added that to the section of the story with their link.

UPDATE 2/24/15 I (Paul Horner) received a plaque from ‘The Organization of Indians Against Rape’ because over $200,000 was raised with giveindia.org – A charity recommended to me by my friend Jade Porter. I’m just taking the organizations word for it how much was raised, but they are a legit group. I did turn down receiving the plaque in the mail. Too many death threats, didn’t want anyone in India having my address.

I currently have warrants out for my arrest in the towns of Punjab and Assam because of this story.

WANT TO HELP THE WOMEN IN INDIA? THEN DO SOMETHING!

Giveindia.org gives 90%-95% of the money that you donate directly to the cause of helping women in India. This money provides them with proper education, shelter, food, help in getting out of abusive relationships, rape counseling and much more! NOTE: GiveIndia.org is in no way associated with or responsible for this article or the views expressed in it.
Click here to donate

THE END, FOR NOW…

India against rape




About the author

Jimmy Rustling

I enjoy writing the hard hitting late breaking news that rustles jimmies around the world. Contact me with any late breaking stories, I'm on it!

18 Comments

  • Looks like you Americans do a pretty good job writting about your fantasies like this fake “rape festival” and adding India to it. White faced people with dark and dirty mindset. But not that surprise afterall child pornography, incest porn are all your western creation. You must be mofo yourself Jimmy to write such creative stuff 🙂

  • I am north east Indian and Christian too, we do value our women with high resp so as Hindu to mother and goddess but it was very sad to see that such Idiots author who are damaging image of My state… people please check this person portfolio ,in past how many people images he haf been damaged, u should be

    • Indians are biggest English internet users in the world. Chinese don’t read english. they have their own Chinese internet.
      This guy simply attracting traffic by using India in his blogs. We are paying him by reading his stupid horror comedy. He is tricking us to pay him.

  • You are just an insane writing for publicity and money that’s it, for your kind info USA ranks first in terms of rape now that’s what we call a hard hitting news, writers like you are nothing but a piece of an alligator’s s**t make a proper research and then write the photo above is of mahakumbh which was organised better than FIFA world cup this is for you _|_.

  • Jimmy rustling f**k yourself.. This so called rape festival is actually happening in your own country where girls are getting pregnant without marriages and divorce papers are like toilet papers for you people’s.
    Pic you displayed here is actually of kumbh mela please go though the link nd get some knowledge…en.m.wikipedia.org./wiki/Kumbh_Mela
    Start watching The Kapil sharma show on Sony tv for better jokes 😀
    Nd one more thing in India we are first of all Indians then a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian so don’t even try to divide my people on basis of religion bcoz this is India not USA where people’s like Donal Trump exists. _|_

  • Mr. Whoever you are,we care a damn. The north eastern region of India is where our women are more respected, loved and thought as equal to men..Born and brought up here,I never heard nor did my friends, relatives or family about your senseless, sick-minds imagination…. Go check your brain,..and cut off your head when the doctor finds anything wrong.
    Your country has nothing more to do then to demean some other country’s image and reputation. Here girls and women are not like your girls and women. Your women I am 100%sure will definitely participate in such a festival.Always remember our women are our pride..because they know what is appropriate and what not…. Don’t malign the image of my country’s women.

  • U shit writer….who the hell do u think are u to write whatever u feel like India…Assam is a place in north east India which has one of the least amount of cases of hatred ( read rape) towards women..there is nothing of a rape festival here…don’t under estimate Indians they are not that anarchic…ur nations runs by our peoples brains…if u CNT counter me..fell free to do so in my email below..n pls stop this nonsense..n we don’t need any charity..thnkz.

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