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McDonald’s To Open 25,000 Robot-Run Restaurants By 2016

McDonald's robots or McRobots

The restaurant giant McDonald’s plans to open 25,000 stores in the United States by the year 2016. (AP Photo/Dennis System)

Oak Brook, IL — After seeing a decline in earnings for the first time in nine years and battling workers who are demanding $15/hr, McDonald’s plans to do something no other restaurant of its kind has ever done before; open thousands of stores run entirely by robots.

The 25,000 stores are set to be completed throughout the United States by the end of 2015. Each restaurant will still employ a small team of 1-3 humans to insure all of the robots are working correctly, the food and cleaning supplies remain stocked along with removing the money collected by the robots. Visitors to the restaurants will see these new robots working in harmony at a speed of 50 times faster than the average human employee, with no chance of error. If the launch for the stores is a success, people can soon expect to see robots located in every McDonald’s all over the country and at restaurants around the world.

Paul Horner, a spokesman for McDonald’s told CNN that because of the demand for a $15/hr minimum wage, the company has been playing with the idea of a restaurant run entirely by robots for years and believes their “McRobots” are the answer.

“These things are great! They get their work done in a fast and orderly manner, plus they don’t ask for cigarette breaks,” Horner laughed.
“With the increasing demand for a minimum wage of $15/hr and the protests getting worse every day, this is something we have to implement. Plus with the tremendous margin of human error, poor hygiene, lack of education, laziness, as well as the recent advancements in artificial intelligence it just make sense to automate our restaurants now rather than later.”

With this decision, shareholders can finally expect to see their stocks on the rise once again since employee salaries are not only cut, but eliminated. By cutting employees, McDonald’s says it is projecting to make a full financial turnaround and see their stock (MCD) return to $105/share which was originally set back in 2014. In the U.S., first quarter comparable sales decreased 2.6% as product and promotional offers did not meet expectations. U.S. operating income for the quarter declined 11%, reflecting weak sales and the impact of restructuring and restaurant closing charges.

Horner said he is excited to pave the way to a more automated workforce, hence a more reliable and affordable one.

“Robots are the future of McDonald’s in the United States and around the world,” Horner said, “Human workers want more pay and this has created giant protests which need our attention now before it is too late. Robots will decrease prices, increase productivity and make for better food. Hopefully our first new restaurant run entirely by robots, that opens in Phoenix in just days, will be embraced by customers and also put an end to the negative feedback we have received from some of critics out there.”

It is still unclear at this time what the robots look like or how customers will complete transactions as this information is being kept under strict confidentiality, but soon these questions will all be answered. Will it be the right or wrong decision for McDonald’s? In the end, it will come down to what is best for shareholders and the customer. The employees hoping to make a minimum wage of $15/hr, not so much.

If you have any further questions about the robot-run establishments, McDonanld’s has setup a 24-hour robot hotline at (480) 828-0470.

VIDEO: McDonald’s Run Entirely By Robots

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Jimmy Rustling

Born at an early age, Jimmy Rustling has found solace and comfort knowing that his humble actions have made this multiverse a better place for every man, woman and child ever known to exist. Dr. Jimmy Rustling has won many awards for excellence in writing including fourteen Peabody awards and a handful of Pulitzer Prizes. When Jimmies are not being Rustled the kind Dr. enjoys being an amazing husband to his beautiful, soulmate; Anastasia, a Russian mail order bride of almost 2 months. Dr. Rustling also spends 12-15 hours each day teaching their adopted 8-year-old Syrian refugee daughter how to read and write.


  • Kids and those who don’t go to college or have any skills rely on McDonald’s for a job to pay their bills, and now they’re taking that away from them. This is going to have serious repercussions on the economy, you just wait and see

    • It’s going to stretch much further than McDonald’s and fast food. Google things like robot pharmacies and robot lawyers, 3D printed houses. This is the stuff Bill Gates and Larry Page told everyone that was coming -and coming fast.

      • Your so right..but the sleepy zombies dont even see it coming still..Boycott Mcdonalds, its poison anyways people!!!!

      • It’s supposed to be a part-time job, a first job to work to earn a little money in your neighborhood and get some working experience. Now we have the full-time crew from out of neighborhood that has taken over, and the neighborhood has no loyalty any more.

        Why is this article a spoof? It should be true.

  • I have seen the Terminator movies and it’s only a matter of time before the robots become evolve and become aware. No thanks McDonalds!

    • It makes no difference what Mcdonalds does, no normal person eats or works there, so they can do whatever they want as they go out of business.

  • fuck you guys that think you get something out of punishing poor people. Wages are not about skills–wages are about the means to life. I’m not poor but I definitely stand with them against your idiot cult of obedience. They and I say: “We will not obey.”

    Better wages are coming. Get over it, you cruel assholes.

    • We would have had loyalty if they place still had part time jobs for neighborhood kids. Now it’s a full time “professional” crew of people from far away. Not the same.

    • Capitalism is killing everything that it touches our society our planet is a failed system it’s time for a change

  • Number 1. Robots don’t pay incomes. Enjoy tax hikes on your wages as government will not settle for less tax revenue.

    Number 2. Robots and unemployed people don’t buy hamburgers. Enjoy that very short term stock gain before you plumment for good.

    • Actually it is likely that taxation will move away from income to other more stable bases (real estate, companies or similar) likewise it is a low odds bet that people in general will not get paid for work. They will rather earn on what they own and for their creative talenta. I can also foresee a wealth distribution that will be Based on the government as mediator (Ie a Base salary no questions asked). It is quite logical if you follow the trends of automation. In the not so distant future the will be extremely few traditional ways of making a wage. So it will likely simply go away. There are plenty of ways to organise our society for this.

  • now you can have your artificial burgers served by artificial beings, 15% beef-meat filler and ammonia (pee) served by a plastic toy with a free plastic toy to go with your plastic bun. does this also mean there is a robot in the back that sits on your burger to make it look fully squashed when you get it

  • lets thank liberals in helping in robots get jobs. maybe they can join a union. but you know liberal retards robots cant vote pay tax’s get food stamps no need for obama care. if you loose your jobs let democrat’s no how you fill. that job at 7.00 hr,,s stating to look good now for a kid living at home and going to school. that 15.00 hr s no good without jobs. Walmart’s closing stores to you voted for worthless liberal democratic and this is what its got you. its like cutting your own throat.

  • I stopped eating at mcdonalds after the pink slime burgers and chicken. I hope when they put the robots in place people stop going there completely n let them feel the fail they did to mankind. You have to remember those that support this and not see the harm it’s doing to those that need employment just don’t care about themselves or others. Hope other businesses aren’t foolish enough to do this in their chain food fast places. This could happen to your job too or other sources of income. Becareful what you let into U.S.A. with this technology. I agree with the others that these robots can also become killing machines also.

  • Capitalism is a failed system destroying everything that it touches Corrupting our government our society our planet It is time for a change

  • Michio Kaku in his book Physics of the Future predicted this This is absolutely sick Mcdonalds doesn’t care about laziness lack of education or that bS they care about one thing Bottom line this will set a dangerous precedent for robot based industries BTW RoboLawyers cannot replace human lawyers because to be a lawyer you need to argue effectively moreover under the 6th amendment a JURY OF OWN’s PEERS Robo Pharmacies will not work because a personalized care

  • Here they come,
    Wheeling down the aisle,
    They’ll get strangest looks, from
    People for a while,

    Hey, Hey, They’re the Robots,
    People think they’ll never work out,
    But minimum wage is too high,
    To put off installing em now.

    They do whatever you do,
    Do it better than you,
    Because they never get restless
    Because there’s nothing new,

    Hey, Hey, They’re the Robots,
    And people think they’ll never work out,
    But profits are the reason for business,
    It’s time for burger flipping Robots now.

    They’re just washing the floors,
    Come and watch them brew coffee,
    They’re the next generation,
    Of Fast Food Emploooyyyeess!!!

    Any repetitious job, that requires minimum skill
    Just look over your shoulder,
    Guess who’ll be serving you?

    Hey, Hey, They’re the Robots,
    And people think they’ll never work out,
    But you need healthcare and time off,
    While Robots work round the clock!

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