Lifestyle Politics Religion

City In Louisiana Makes Polygamy Legal

Written by Jimmy Rustling


The city of DeQuincy, Louisiana has made polygamy legal with the first marriage taking place yesterday. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

DeQuincy, LA — Controversial news is coming out of Louisiana today as one small town has made polygamylegal. Voters approved the mandate by a 61%-39% margin with all parishes reporting, according to returns from the State Board of Elections.

The Mayor of DeQuincy, Tom Downey, spoke to CBS News about the new law the city has implemented making it legal for a man to have multiple wives and vice versa.

“There’s no gosh darn reason that if a man loves a woman, and another woman and another woman and maybe even another woman, they shouldn’t all be allowed to get married,” said Downey. “DeQuincy is setting the precedent on polygamy in this country and I can only hope that other cities and states follow the fine example that we are setting.”

The first polygamy marriage happened yesterday and was performed by the Reverend William J. Reed of the 1st DeQuincy Baptist Church. The wedding drew extreme criticism and outrage from some of the citizens of the town.

Maynard Jenkins, who is the town’s sheriff, spoke with local news station KPLC 7about the incident.


“Our very own Marry Sue Hawthorn, who’s just a peach, a pretty little white girl, well she took it upon herself to marry four big ol’ negro boys,” Jenkins said. “It was distasteful, disgusting and just plain wrong. But as Sheriff of this town, and with this new law now in place, there was nothing I could do to stop it. But trust me, she’ll learn to regret it when she gets the AIDS or some other disease they carry.”

DeQuincy resident, 33-year-old Brandon Adams, told local news station DQLA6that he is excited about the new law.

“I think it’s the best thing ever to happen to this town,” Adams said. “I have threesomes and foursomes all the time and sometimes it is frowned upon by my neighbors and parents and stuff. But now I can do it legally, every day, all day long and no one can say nothin’,” Adams continued. “Though, with all this good now, there’s also gonna be the bad. I am worried about the other guys out there that might get the same good idea as me and move to our town. DeQuincy is a small, peaceful place, with good folks and it doesn’t need more dudes cock-blocking me, that’s for sure.”

Paul Horner, president and founder of Sock It Forward, a group who works to provide the homeless and less fortunate with new socks, told reporters he agrees with what the city of DeQuincy is doing.

“The government has no right to tell you who you can and can’t marry. What DeQuincy is doing is the definition of marriage equality and I applaud them for it. I personally wouldn’t want two wives, but as long as it’s not bothering me, why should I care? In the end love always wins.”

There are federal laws against polygamy, but as of late, it has been the states and individual cities that are making the laws on this subject. Despite the fact many people exercise their constitutional right to engage in personal relationships as they see fit, local governance in states where polygamy is widespread like Utah and Colorado have attempted to prevent such cohabitation on moral grounds. Suffice to say there have been few convictions over recent decades.

At the time of this press release, the governor and state officials in Louisiana have yet to make a formal statement concerning the legalization of polygamy in DeQuincy.

VIDEO: City In Louisiana Makes Polygamy Legal

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About the author

Jimmy Rustling

Born at an early age, Jimmy Rustling has found solace and comfort knowing that his humble actions have made this multiverse a better place for every man, woman and child ever known to exist. Dr. Jimmy Rustling has won many awards for excellence in writing including fourteen Peabody awards and a handful of Pulitzer Prizes. When Jimmies are not being Rustled the kind Dr. enjoys being an amazing husband to his beautiful, soulmate; Anastasia, a Russian mail order bride of almost 2 months. Dr. Rustling also spends 12-15 hours each day teaching their adopted 8-year-old Syrian refugee daughter how to read and write.