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Leonardo DiCaprio Finally Wins An Oscar!

Written by Jimmy Rustling

We are making a movie and currently looking for anyone interested in being an actor in this and we need to hire an editor or two. These are all paid positions. Please contact us if interested.

SPOILER ALERT: It centers around Leonardo DiCaprio starring as himself, and the film is all about his attempts at winning an Oscar. After years and years of making movies and failing to win an Oscar, he finally figures out a way to win the highly desired award, but he must kill someone famous in order to get it. My filming stops when he actually kills that person. DiCaprio is caught, found guilty and is put on death row. He begins serving his sentence. Leo attempts so many trials and appeals, but nothing works. After 10 long years, the day finally comes when he is ready to be put to death. They get the cameras rolling for proof, the governor or president has not called for a stay of execution. So the guards strap him down, the clock hits midnight, they pump him full of liquids and Leonardo DiCaprio dozes off to sleep. The cameras stop rolling and DiCaprio’s limp body is taken away.

Two days later Leonardo wakes up somewhere in Europe. He is in a small one bedroom apartment. On the table in the dining room is an ID that says “Paul Horner”. There is 2,500 in US dollars and an envelope with a note beside it which reads:

Hello Leo,

We are the watchers. On November 5th, 1978, the United States of America put an end to executing prisoners. But in order to continue giving the appearance of deterring murder in this country, it was decided that killers would be tried in a court of law, receive the full death row treatment and finally a staged execution. When it is time for the individual to be killed, they are simply put to sleep. When they wake up they are given new Identities in a different country to live in that is away from anyone that they may know. So, enjoy the small city of Utrecht in the Netherlands. We have people that will be watching you and they will not identity themselves to you. Their only purpose is to make sure you are still living in Utrecht. If you commit another murder or crime in Utrecht, you will be dealing with the authorities and laws of Utrecht. If you move to another location in the city, please call 1-785-273-0325 to inform the watchers of your intentions. If you leave Utrecht, attempt to regain entry into the Untied States, or inform your friends or loved ones that you are safe, you will be shot on site. So, welcome to Utrecht, and be good!

Best regards,
The Watchers

Leonardo DiCaprio faints.

He awakens to a crowd of directors, actors, film editors…. they are clapping, whistling and hugging Leo.

The last 10 years since the murder had been staged and filmed without Leo’s knowledge. The murder had been a setup and filmed. His journey and shock in the city of Utrecht had also been filmed.

Paramount Pictures, and it’s team, condense the 10 years of jail and Utrecht footage along with the footage I shot into a 2 hour movie.

Leonardo DiCaprio is nominated for an Oscar as best actor and wins! The Oscar he has been wanting so badly since the beginning of his career is now his!

Leo’s mom was happy, but extremely scared for his safety. She informed Leo that he must go and live with his Aunt and Uncle in an affluent neighborhood on the west side of Los Angeles, California.

Leo followed his mothers instructions and with his Oscar in hand, whistled for a cab. The taxi had a custom license plate that spelled out the letters F-R-E-S-H and for some reason there was dice hanging from the mirror. It was a very odd cab Leo thought to himself but it was beginning to rain so he decided to take the cab regardless. He explained to the driver, “Good day sir, I am in a rush, please take me to the suburbs of Bel-air.”

After what seemed like an eternity, Leo finally arrived at his aunt and uncle’s house around seven or eight o’clock in the evening. Leo was tired and angry about his forced move and took his frustrations out on the cab driver.

“Sir, your cab wreaks of raw cabbage and you desperately need a shower my friend.” DiCaprio then says, “Yo homes smell ya later”.

Leo then looked up at his new kingdom, he was finally there, to sit on his throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.




About the author

Jimmy Rustling

Born at an early age, Jimmy Rustling has found solace and comfort knowing that his humble actions have made this multiverse a better place for every man, woman and child ever known to exist. Dr. Jimmy Rustling has won many awards for excellence in writing including fourteen Peabody awards and a handful of Pulitzer Prizes. When Jimmies are not being Rustled the kind Dr. enjoys being an amazing husband to his beautiful, soulmate; Anastasia, a Russian mail order bride of almost 2 months. Dr. Rustling also spends 12-15 hours each day teaching their adopted 8-year-old Syrian refugee daughter how to read and write.

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